Panda's PostBox 熊貓阿达的信箱

总是學不會

2012-02-07T01:52:00.000+08:00

Love and Happiness

2012-02-03T15:33:00.000+08:00

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

第三者

2012-02-02T11:30:00.000+08:00

完整

2012-02-01T11:19:00.000+08:00

^^ 我们的幸福也能很完整 ^^

Solace.. Solitude..

2012-01-13T13:05:00.000+08:00

有时候要的只是心中那股平静。。。

Written on 11 Dec; Waka

2012-01-06T23:49:00.003+08:00

Today marks the 3rd day of my journey to Waka. Stopover at Shangrila for a night to meet up with Veron so that she can lead Cat and I to Waka the next day via 面包车。

1st night at Shangrila was quite bad for me cuz I seem to have caught a cold and started running a fever in the middle of the night...Rummaging through my luggage to put on more clothings and searching for my heat packs was a feat as I was having "cold spasms" and trembling throughout. Hiding under my blanket, started wondering how am I gonna pull through when this is just the 1st night of my journey...Couldn't believe that I'm really so weak..Man!

Was pretty lucky that the huge plaster at my back and the neck cushion helped to gradually soothe me to sleep and thus, felt better the next day. Veron and 小胖 took us for a short tour in 古城 the next morning before we hitch a ride on the 面包车 to Waka..............

( Cold spasms hit me again while I was writing this on my iphone thus couldn't continue on...only remembered that Cat asked me some questions but I could only manage a mumbled reply and quickly hid under my blanket for warmth......)

All wrapped up like a dumpling for warmth!

還是要幸福

2011-11-21T23:43:00.000+08:00

妈，不知不觉您已离开我们好几年了。。这些年有开心也有不开心的。。
开心的是您多了两个男孙。。您的宝贝龙哥也退伍了，已经在工作了。
不开心的我就不说了，我想您也应该“看”得到吧。。

妈，再过几个星期我就会出发到云南（瓦卡 www.wakaorphanage.org ）去出一份力，和那里的小朋友学新知识。
或许是受您影响吧。。您常叫我们如果能力范围内能帮到一些underprivileged，何乐不为呢？
在您过世后，我也一直有着这个念头但迟迟未做到。

这一次应该是个机会吧，让我重遇老友给了我这个机会出份力也算了了心愿。。
有时候真不知到是你在帮助他们还是他们给了你这个机会来出一份力做些有意义的事。。
这趟出游除了做些有意义的事，也想同时散散心。。。

其实这次愿望能实现得感谢这三个人。。
老友Veron presented这个opportunity..
Mr N 的慷慨让我请假（我答应您我会watch out for my own health, not to worry)
还有她给了我很大的勇气（never try, never know... I'll always remember that)

我已经开始prep for this trip 了。。打针，吃vitamin C，跑步。。我会坚持到底
不会让我的烂体制影响这趟mission的！

Veron也为了她这趟旅程上载了blog，在此和大家分享。。
http://geraff27.wordpress.com/author/geraff27/

《用我的交换你的，至少有一个人是幸福的》

What faith can do

2011-11-12T00:16:00.002+08:00

LOVE UU

2011-10-12T01:03:00.000+08:00

幸福在哪里？

2011-09-15T22:35:00.000+08:00

草原上有对狮子母子。小狮子问母狮子：「妈，幸福在哪里？」母狮子说：「幸福就在你的尾巴上ㄚ…」于是，小狮子不断追着尾巴跑…但始终咬不到。母狮子笑道：「傻瓜！幸福不是这样得到的。只要你昂首向前走，幸福就会一直跟随着你！

夜雪的❤情留言站

Quotable Quotes

2011-07-15T23:08:00.009+08:00

Times when I'm unable to express my feelings, emotions...that is when I'll start looking at quotes..

"Quotes help you get over pain, feel love, make you smile & laugh..." I do agree that it does.

Here's some of my favourite ones:

If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse. – Jim Rohn

Everyone knows that they’re going to die, but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently – Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

You cant keep yourself from falling in love, but you can steer yourself away from the wrong people – Jodi Picoult, Songs of the humpback whale

Once you had put the pieces back together, even though you may look intact, you were never quite the same as you’d been before the fall ` Jodi Picoult

“It is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. —Ambrose Redmoon

You must be the change you wish to see in the world. —Gandhi

Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. —Cyril Connolly

How To Tell If Somebody Loves You ?

2011-07-07T23:49:00.001+08:00

Came across an interesting read today, thought its pretty true to a good extent.

Especially this sentence below:

" Somebody loves you if they want you to be happy, even if that involves something that doesn't benefit them. They realize the things you need to do in order to be content and come to terms with the fact that it might not include them"

Read on here ( Repost from Thought Catalog
http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/how-to-tell-if-somebody-loves-you/ ):
Jul. 5, 2011

By Ryan O'Connell

Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a napkin and apply it to your dirty skin. You didn’t ask for these things, but this person went ahead and did it anyway. They don’t want to see you looking like a fool with eyelashes and crumbs on your face. They notice these things. They really look at you and are the first to notice if something is amiss with your beautiful visage!

Somebody loves you if they assume the role of caretaker when you’re sick. Unsure if someone really gives a shit about you? Fake a case of food poisoning and text them being like, “oh my god, so sick. need water.” Depending on their response, you’ll know whether or not they REALLY love you. “That’s terrible. Feel better!” earns you a stay in friendship jail; “Do you need anything? I can come over and bring you get well remedies!” gets you a cozy friendship suite. It’s easy to care about someone when they don’t need you. It’s easy to love them when they’re healthy and don’t ask you for anything beyond change for the parking meter. Being sick is different. Being sick means asking someone to hold your hair back when you vomit. Either love me with vomit in my hair or don’t love me at all.

Somebody loves you if they call you out on your bullshit. They’re not passive, they don’t just let you get away with murder. They know you well enough and care about you enough to ask you to chill out, to bust your balls, to tell you to stop. They aren’t passive observers in your life, they are in the trenches. They have an opinion about your decisions and the things you say and do. They want to be a part of it; they want to be a part of you.

Somebody loves you if they don't mind the quiet. They don't mind running errands with you or cleaning your apartment while blasting some annoying music. There's no pressure, no need to fill the silences. You know how with some of your friends there needs to be some sort of activity for you to hang out? You don't feel comfortable just shooting the shit and watching bad reality TV with them. You need something that will keep the both of you busy to ensure there won't be a void. That's not love. That's "hey babe! i like you okay. do you wanna grab lunch? i think we have enough to talk about to fill two hours!" It's a damn dream when you find someone you can do nothing with. Whether you're skydiving together or sitting at home and doing different things, it's always comfortable. That is fucking love.

Somebody loves you if they want you to be happy, even if that involves something that doesn't benefit them. They realize the things you need to do in order to be content and come to terms with the fact that it might not include them. Never underestimate the gift of understanding. When there are so many people who are selfish and equate relationships as something that only must make them happy, having someone around who can take their needs out of any given situation if they need to.

Somebody loves you if they can order you food without having to be told what you want. Somebody loves you if they rub your back at any given moment. Somebody loves you if they give you oral sex without expecting anything back. Somebody loves you if they don't care about your job or how much money you make. It's a relationship where no one is selling something to the other. No one is the prostitute. Somebody loves you if they'll watch a movie starring Kate Hudson because you really really want to see it. Somebody loves you if they're able to create their own separate world with you, away from the internet and your job and family and friends. Just you and them.

Somebody will always love you. If you don't think this is true, then you're not paying close enough attention

我以為。。

2011-07-02T02:29:00.001+08:00

我以為我不再介意
我的以為只是我以為

感伤，伤感

2011-06-30T00:51:00.000+08:00

在不知不觉中，我突然有一种这样的感觉.

不是不想爱，是不能爱
因为怕伤人，也怕被伤。

夜雪的❤情留言站

Listening with your 'eyes'

2011-06-27T23:46:00.001+08:00

Sharing something that I've read recently...

extract from Mitch Albom "Have a little faith"

-----------------

From a Sermon by the Reb, 1958

-----------------

" A little girl came home from school with a drawing she'd made in class.

She danced into the kitchen, where her mother was preparing dinner.

" 'Mom, guess what?' she squealed, waving the drawing.

"Her mother never looked up.

" 'What?' she said, tending to the pots.

" 'Guess what?' the child repeated, waving the drawing.

" 'What?' the mother said, tending to the plates.

" 'Mom, you're not listening.'

" 'Sweetie, yes I am.'

" 'Mom,' the child said, 'you're not listening with your eyes.'"

猜不透

2011-06-25T10:44:00.000+08:00

Memory

2011-06-19T23:04:00.001+08:00

Things we want to remember, we forget;
Things we want to forget, we remember...

放下。。放手

2011-06-15T11:30:00.000+08:00

一件事,就算再美好,一旦没有结果,就不要再纠缠,
久了你会倦,会累;
一个人,就算再留念,如果你抓不住,就要适时放手,
久了你会神伤,会心碎。
有时,放弃是另一种坚持,
你错失了夏花绚烂,必将会走进秋叶静羌。
任何事,任何人,都会成为过去,不要跟它过不去,
无论多难,我们都要学会抽身而退。

Credit: 夜雪的❤情留言站

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

時間..讓一切都淡了..
讓緊握的手..漸漸的鬆開了..
鬆開手指頭看看掌心..
原來緊握的手中..什麼也沒有
原來..鬆開之後的世界是如此的開闊

放下不是失去..放下不是放棄
累了..該還給自己自由..累了..該尋回自己
在感情世界裡..不是該學會抽身而退
而是該懂得我們擁有什麼..
不管結果如何..我們都擁有~

儘管一切都過去了..永遠的回憶一直都會在心裡抹不去
既然忘不掉..那..何不順其自然..
總有一天雲淡風輕...

Credit: 愛咖啡

说我爱你

2011-06-13T01:10:00.002+08:00

Photo credit: KT

Make it a point to tell your loved ones that you love them while you still can... Its not easy, especially for oriental families but these 3 words does create miracles... Try it! =)

White Dove

2011-06-12T01:02:00.001+08:00

Photo Credit: KT

不是真正的快乐

2011-06-11T00:41:00.001+08:00

人群中哭着只想变成透明的颜色
再也不会梦或痛或心动了
已经决定了已经决定了

静静忍着紧紧把昨天在拳心握着
而回忆越是甜就是越伤人
越是在手心留下密密麻麻深深浅浅的刀割

不是真正的快乐
微笑只是保护色
决定不恨了也决定不爱了
把灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳

这世界笑了于是合群的一起笑了
当生存是规则不是选择
于是含着眼泪飘飘荡荡跌跌撞撞地走着

Twilight

2011-06-10T17:00:00.008+08:00

Photo credit: KT

What are words?

2011-06-07T01:04:00.000+08:00

What are words if you really don't mean them, when you say them
What are words if they're only for good times, then they don't

When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Evening sky

2011-06-05T23:11:00.004+08:00

Photo credit by KT

^_^

2011-06-05T01:02:00.003+08:00

Photo credit by KT

Alternative Words of Wisdom by KT:

"Remember, you are much cowardly than you believe, weaker than you seem

and dumber than you think.." ^_^

Thanks for being around all these while =)

你感觉得到吗？

2011-05-30T00:13:00.000+08:00

最怕空气突然安静

最怕朋友突然的关心

最怕回忆突然翻滚绞痛着不平息

最怕突然听到你的消息~

为什麽你带我走过最难忘的旅行

然後留下最痛的纪念品~

突然好想你 ...

Colorgenics when you are lost...

2011-05-27T16:10:00.000+08:00

You feel that everything is going against you and you are worn out and exhausted by all the conflict and quarrelling. You are trying to protect yourself but at the same time you are hiding your feelings, hoping that by so doing, you can avoid exposing yourself to attack. Hopefully this will give you the chance to get on with your life. Nevertheless, you should be very careful to try to avoid stirring up any opposition which might endanger your plans.

You are a true extrovert, frivolous and outgoing. You need to feel in control of any situation. If matters are not proceeding according to plan you tend to get extremely irritable and perhaps become difficult to live with.

It's the time of year that you are apt to become extremely restless and emotionally withdrawn. This is preventing you from becoming deeply involved with a person or persons within your sphere of influence. If you are willing to 'let go' and release your inhibitions you will find that a great deal of physical satisfaction will result, far more than perhaps you even believed you were capable of.

You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress. You are carried away by other people's enthusiasm and looking for that idealised relationship, be it in a business or personal situation, which you are able to share with a mutual depth of understanding. You have lowered your defences in the past and you have been hurt, so you are now extremely wary of being exploited. You are still ready to trust people on the condition that they are prepared to offer you proof of their sincerity.

In the past your trusting attitude has often been misunderstood and so you have needed to protect yourself against your tendency to be abused and taken advantage of. As a consequence you possibly adopt an aloof and critical attitude and you are only willing to let your guard down once sincerity and trustworthiness can be assured.

无奈

2011-05-18T23:38:00.000+08:00

怎么做都不对。。。
爱人和被爱同样受罪。。
好累。。

Feeling at peace..even if its just for a short while...

2011-05-17T00:28:00.000+08:00

The Mountain from TSO Photography on Vimeo.

2011-05-16T00:25:00.000+08:00

Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. ~ Robert Heinlein ~

SKI

2011-05-04T12:43:00.000+08:00

180度

2011-04-28T23:15:00.000+08:00

當冬夜漸暖

2011-04-25T16:30:00.000+08:00

一百次相愛只要有一次的絢爛下一次會更勇敢
重要的是　我們如何愛過那一段

2011-04-23T21:52:00.000+08:00

"No matter what age you are, or what your circumstances might be, you are special, and you still have something unique to offer. Your life, because of who you are, has meaning."

- Barbara de Angelis

是時候了

2011-03-26T19:01:00.000+08:00

因为对你我连再见都再也说不出口
我想你能懂，爱还在心中

如果再見我你會說什麼
說愛我或只是寂寞

原谅我冷漠，选择不问联络
因为我担心你会听见我
还那么难过。。。

我們愛过，笑过，甜蜜过，快樂过
我們也哭过，痛过，恨过

是時候我們別再傷害彼此了，
是時候我們都該放手了

祝你幸福。

思念太猖狂

2011-03-13T03:50:00.000+08:00

你是否也像我一樣在想念着你？

Can't stop...

2011-03-09T19:56:00.002+08:00

葉子

2011-03-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

2011-03-04T10:49:00.000+08:00

從來都不曾討厭过你，一分一秒都沒有。。。
How can the heart hate when all its filled with is love?

Letter to Panda

2011-01-28T01:16:00.000+08:00

What the hell are you doing? Why are you making everyone miserable? One min you love, next min you are angry and the next you feel guilty and bad and then you love again!! What the fuck are you thinking?? Your friend is right, why are you so bloody emotional?? Its making people feel suffocated!!

Wake up your bloody idea!! You feel pressured and responsible to ensure that nobody gets hurt yet in the end you ended up hurting everyone! Everyone including those that you love!! WTF! Why do you always lose your senses when it comes to this? Why?

You love, you let go! Set free so you can be free too! Why can't you get this right?
One moment you got it, then the next moment you forgot about it again, why WHY???

I HATE YOU!

無言

2011-01-26T00:59:00.000+08:00

Its raining heavily now... yet i feel like going to the beach...maybe the rain will wake me up from my bad dream...

二人同行

2011-01-25T16:16:00.000+08:00

MBY

2011-01-20T11:04:00.001+08:00

There is a time when someone jumps right into the very core of our heart, steals it, takes it away, takes care of it for a while, and breaks it after a while.

To You..earlier than expected...

2011-01-20T01:47:00.001+08:00

Miss you...

2011-01-15T01:06:00.002+08:00

I miss you mummy...lots and lots... =(

What is wrong with me, can you tell me?

I'm lost... am so confused... Its eating into me..

What should I do? Can you tell me pls?

ฉันคิดถึงเธอ

2010-12-18T23:54:00.003+08:00

=D

2010-12-07T23:46:00.002+08:00

Happy for you! I know you can do it! =D

Everything will be just fine ya, everything will be alright alright!

Hugs hugs =D

Perturbed

2010-12-07T00:12:00.003+08:00

Should i or should i not?
Kept insisting yet doesn't seem to get good vibes from the replies

Will it really turn out the way you said?
That my presence might end up being a disappointment to the person instead of what I had planned in mind? I really hope not.

Was so confident when you asked me earlier on but now I seem to be having jitters and uncertainty.

Perturbed yet only time will reveal the answer.

覺醒領悟

2010-11-29T00:12:00.009+08:00

這幾天內心似乎得到了一些許的平靜
是因為生病還是因為忙昏了頭
又或者是真的看透了一些事呢？
我自己也搞不清楚。

我只知道
現在的我希望這種感覺能持續下去

最近我從新試著以慵懶的方式在浴室泡澡
慢條斯理，無憂無律 letting my mind wander free
曾經何時我幾乎天天都是以這樣的方式享受着泡澡的時間
直到老媽子的突然逝世
我也好像變了另一個人似的

是在逃避還是living in denial
我不再是以前的我
脾氣變得煩躁，好像全世界都欠我似的
因為它不公平，無緣無故的把我的老媽子帶走
本來已經不輕易相信人的我更變本加厲
疑心病簡直突破了指標
整個人變得難以相處
這個現象其實我早在大概一年前就發現了
只是一直都無法真正的把自己從這旋渦里拉出來

或許真的只有時間才能 heal all wounds
時間到了，人自然就會覺醒而得到領悟
開心是一天，不開心也是一天
哪為何要搞到自己不開心也害到周圍的人
何不就開開心心的过接下來的每一天呢？

在此真心的感謝每一位在這段時期包容我的人
謝謝你們的包容和體諒
我愛你們！Hugs Hugs

開心的笑一笑吧！＝D

This is Life, Life is this.

2010-11-28T23:18:00.002+08:00

Came across this reflection from a stranger's blog.... So true...

Life changes every minute of every day.
You lose friends.
You gain friends.
You realize your friend wasn’t ever really your friend, and that person you used to hate turns out to be a really good friend.

You look for love.
You find love.
You lose love.
You realize all long that you’ve been loved.

You laugh.
You cry.
You laugh so hard that you cry.

You do this, you do that.
You really wish you hadn’t done that.
You then learn from that and are glad that you did.

You have your ups.
You have your downs.

You see good movies.
You see bad movies.
You wonder if your life is just one big movie.

You look at others and wish you were them.
You then realize who they are and are glad that you’re you.

You love life.
You hate life.
In the end you just find yourself happy to be living life,
no matter what’s thrown at you.

2010-11-23T22:34:00.002+08:00

我想我太过愛你　爱到我忘了自己
一直都全心投入　所以會一敗塗地

I'll say ordinary, It's just an ordinary day.

2010-11-22T00:18:00.008+08:00

Heard this song from a friend's blog earlier... Same like her, I'm not a Michael Buble fan too but this is indeed a nice song.. Love the music and acoustic, funny that it seems to have a calming effect on me...

~ @ ~ @ ~ @ ~ Image copyrights of yan ~ @ ~ @ ~ @

I think of U...
M.B.Y

世界上最遠的距離

2010-11-16T23:35:00.003+08:00

世界上最遙遠的距離並不是天与地之間
又或者是我在你身旁但你卻不知道我愛你。。

世界上最遙遠的距離是。。。
透過螢幕看著你從蹦蹦跳跳到奄奄一息
一個人在掙扎着呼吸
而我卻只能在這兒無助的叫著你
目睹你的辛苦卻又無能為力

="(

So near yet so far
So helpless..

無眠

2010-11-14T15:31:00.001+08:00

Behind every little thing

2010-11-12T22:13:00.005+08:00

Heard this over the radio this morning, found that its so true..

Behind every "Just Kiddin", there's always a little truth.
Behind every "I Don't Care", there's always a little emotion.
Behind every "Its Okay", there's always a little pain.

人都是口是心非的動物，但不表示這樣的回答有錯
因為並不是存心要隱瞞，只是想讓彼此都好過一點

勇氣

2010-11-10T22:09:00.001+08:00

爱真的需要勇气来面对的不止是流言蜚语，还有很多很多。。
但只要对方一个眼神肯定，哪这爱就变得有意义。。

最幸福的事

2010-11-09T00:27:00.006+08:00

直到今天我才真正的體會到這首歌的涵意。。。
是被這首歌感動。。還是因為自己emo而落淚已經不重要了。。。

真的謝謝你的company, 你唱得很棒，很感人！感動度101分！
我很enjoy,希望你也是。Thanks for cheering me up! =)

<<>>
我最幸福的事牽著你的日子
那一陣子有你美的不像現實
多高興每一幕都微笑著靜止
<<>>

你知道嗎。。離開前最後點的那首歌，是唱給你聽的。。
。。但你沒接電話。。

乎遠乎近

2010-11-05T23:30:00.003+08:00

感覺
似乎很近
卻也很遠

很親切
卻也有點陌生

愛
很愛很愛
卻不敢再多愛

很想念
卻不敢再去想

乎遠乎近
乎冷乎熱

Kiss the rain

2010-10-13T00:14:00.001+08:00

Long forgotten dream

2010-10-05T23:55:00.004+08:00

If there's an opportunity to visit 1 particular country, where will you go?

Has long forgotten this dream of mine until mins ago..
My choice has always remain the same throughout...

<< New Zealand >>

Its time that I should seriously plan and make this dream come true.

Mashed Up!

2010-10-02T20:48:00.002+08:00

Superb mashup song
Super mashup emotions

This song says it all....

Drive safely for your loved ones

2010-09-29T00:46:00.003+08:00

自從前几天看到那場freak accident之後，我的心就一直感覺不踏實
重覺得怪怪的，couldn't have the same level of judgement and confidence like before especially when it comes to changing lanes or overtaking..

腦海里時不時就浮現那天的場景。。
一輛汽車的前部整個被壓在一輛卡車的底部。
最讓人心寒的是車禍現場摆了個藍色帳篷；表是有人不幸的在這場車禍中丟了性命。。
馬路如虎口.. All drivers should really practise what the traffic signs says, "Drive safely, for your loved ones"

Passed by the same road again today, felt an urge to give u a call....

The art of communication

2010-09-14T11:22:00.003+08:00

Random comments sends triggers off
the alarm of insecurity

Stupid and insensitive replies added on to
the wave of uncertainties

A warm conversation that turned cold
instantaneously

*** *** *** *** ***
Disruptive alarm, am gonna shut it off
Uncertainties, am gonna ride on top of it
Gonna warm up the icy-cold conversation and never let it turn cold again
......

Touched by an angel

2010-09-04T14:00:00.002+08:00

Day by day it grew
so intense and indelible
but little does she knew
the depth she had fallen into

Mustered up all courage
she shared together her fears
fear of the unknown and uncertainties
fear of the answer that she didn't want to hear

Shattered and hurt
she too was
even more then she expected

Taps continue running loose
Parts continue creaking with aches
yet still yearning much for grease

Though perturbed
she still is clear
her cold heart has since been touched by an angel

世界唯一的你

2010-09-03T01:00:00.001+08:00

UMY Treasure

2010-08-31T12:29:00.002+08:00

我想你说的對，
我因該珍惜現在所擁有的。。

Treasure the present.. I will do that =D

MYESD

2010-08-24T02:32:00.002+08:00

Thanks baby.

Eat Pray Love

2010-08-21T10:33:00.002+08:00

"It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection"
-Bhagavad Gita

I wish it'll stop too...

對与錯，是与非

2010-07-30T18:42:00.004+08:00

在對的時間做錯的事，能算是對嗎？

在錯的時間做對的事，能算是錯嗎？

是非對錯只在一念間
是該由別人，環境，社會來斷定
還是該由自己來做判斷

是該 Follow the rules
or
Follow your heart?

Face It!

2010-07-22T10:14:00.003+08:00

Thought I've managed to put everything behind after so long... But apparently not so...

I'm actually the one who is not qualified.

From this moment onwards, will no longer live in denial.

I will try..for your love

2010-07-17T21:25:00.004+08:00

I'm so sorry...

2010-07-15T16:20:00.007+08:00

I'm sorry dear, really really sorry.. =(
I didn't know it'll hurt you so much when I agreed to let you go back alone on that day.
I should have insisted on sending you home especially when you made time to keep me company. It was insensitivity on my part. I'm really sorry. =((

I was simply too focused on fighting with time to complete the activities planned that day until I overlooked your feelings. I really thought it was fine then cuz you didn't say much.. 對不起..對不起...

I still thought you were kidding me when you said it last night until when I saw your tears.. you should have told me earlier, why hide it for so long?

I'm sorry, its all my fault.. I was too engrossed with my work and personal stuffs that I neglected you. Despite knowing that you're stressed up too and yet I didn't really check on you and how you are doin.. Its my bad.. I'm sorry..

I cared about you, I really do and you know it too.. And not just me dear, a lot of other friends also cared a lot about you. You are not unwanted, you are not useless.
You've achieved in other ways that I couldn't do so there's no need to envy me. You've changed me, remember? I'm no longer the old me who's a "Yes man". I'm able to stand up for myself, though maybe not as good as you yet. That's an achievement ya!

You are being loved by your family, by me and other friends as well.. just that they didn't tell you...
I am with you, always 24/7. I just need you to tell me, to call me. You keep "pestering" me to speak out and release my stress and tension.. Now you should be doing it too..
You wanna be there for me, likewise I wanna be there for you too.

I'm actually a devil.. its just that I have angel friends around me and you are one of them.

I'm sorry dear for my insensitivity...Pls dun be sad no more.. I be here, I be there, I be everywhere for you.. Dinner on me soon! Love you! =)

With love

2010-07-12T11:40:00.006+08:00

Thanks for taking time off your busy schedule to keep me company for the past 2 days.. going to concerto, taking train rides that I've never done in years(though I did went on one recently), yummy dinner place, supper and lunch with khakis and joining me on my weekly road trips..

I know you're concerned about how I'm doing. I can feel it and I really appreciate dear, from the bottom of my heart. Especially so when I know you're a busy bee day in and out but still, you remembered to check on me despite you saying that you have failing memory these days.

I can't find any words to express my heartfelt appreciation at this moment but no worries about me ya... I'm more or less BACK in Action! Am just going with the flow now cuz i realize that there's no way or rather no need to put a tag/definition to certain things.

Things happen and most of the time, quite unexpectedly.. so the best solution is to just go with the natural flow and be glad that its here to make me learn, understand and gain more knowledge and experience.

Thanks for being with me and also to the rest of you who have been supporting me "openly/quietly" all these while. You know who you are and i do know who you are too.

Love ya'll! =)

Silent Cry

2010-07-09T12:55:00.002+08:00

Silent cry
a new found feeling that I'd never known
unheard and unseen

Silent cry
a feeling more suffocating then any other
leaves me gasping in despair

Silent cry
unseen but through the heart you'd hear
the song of I.M.D

Silent cry
result of over-tearing
signs of achilles heel

Sometimes when we touch..

2010-07-03T02:38:00.004+08:00

身在褔中不知褔

2010-07-02T00:36:00.004+08:00

I remembered that I used to pull a long face or behave like a spoiled brat whenever my mum "broke" the 荷包蛋 while frying it. The me then simply couldn't understand why its so difficult for her to maintain the nice and smooth texture of the egg especially the egg yolk....

Until that day when I tried to whip up some breakfast..

I failed miserably.
None out of the 3 attempts was successful and I decided it was enough.
That moment, I suddenly realized what a spoiled brat I had been to my mum and she has been tolerating my nonsense all the while when I threw stupid tantrums over an egg.
I'm sorry mummy...I'm really really sorry for being an asshole...
I missed you terribly.. :'(

A lot has changed ever since you left us...

We've been coming "home" to an empty house every night..
The fridge is stocked with only drinks, hardly any sign of food in it..
We've been throwing away cans and cans of expired food cuz we hardly cook anymore..
My favourite household playmate is now the vaccum cleaner, something that I dun even need to look at when you were around..
No more TLC ginseng tea/herbal soups to bring down our heatiness when staying up late.
No one to check on our temperature and to remind us to take our medication when we're sick...

I'm sorry mummy...I know I promised that I'll be brave and accept reality..
But just for now, just this short moment.. I'd just like to throw some tantrums...
Something that I hasn't done for a long long while..

捨不得

2010-06-16T20:48:00.003+08:00

我捨不得
最後一次抱緊你了
我們錯過的錯了就錯了
不用擔心我我會好好的

我捨不得
可是時間回不去了
愛你很值得只是該停了
沒有我你要好好的

希望你記憶里的我是微笑的
有你牽著我的那些日子
真的好快樂

按耐

2010-06-14T23:12:00.002+08:00

回來看到“臭臭”，我的最後一絲防線也跨了。
忍了很久的情緒，淚水終於按耐不住，模糊了視線。
我撤徹底底的被打敗了。。

The climb

2010-06-06T00:55:00.003+08:00

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah

Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

寫給自己的信

2010-06-01T11:49:00.005+08:00

那天我又獨自跑到了海邊。。
聽著那熟悉的海浪聲，享受着陣陣吹來的海風，我的心境也跟著平復了許多。
腦里心裡的問號和茫然也在頓時間變得不在那麼重要。
那一刹哪的解脫。。。是非筆墨所能形容地。

現實生活里，
我到底在追求着什麼？又或者我到底想要什麼？
是簡單樸實的生活嗎，還是充裕的金錢和物質享受？
漫長的人生道路，我是否能夠一直永遠勇敢的一個人前進？
我該任性一次嗎？我能付得起任性的代價嗎？
我為什麼會有這些感覺，感想？是我想太多了嗎？

找尋那一刹哪的解脫，是為了要整裝待發，迎接接下來的挑戰。
就像人們所說的，休息也是為了要走更長遠的路。
我會努力，我會加油的！

因為這是個尷尬的交集

2010-05-18T01:57:00.005+08:00

你和他，我和你，這是個尷尬的交集
因為我們都掩飾不了對彼此的不自然

與其這樣，倒不如我不參與
只留下祝福給他和你

＝）

" Twos a company; Threes a crowd "

他和她的故事

2010-05-12T23:45:00.005+08:00

他們開始的很快。。

黑漆漆的戲院里，兩雙冰冷的手交結在一起
一個溫柔的吻，一個幸福的微笑
把這兩個不同世界的人緊緊的鎖在一起

他們的結束也來的很快。。

期待着週末的到來，期待着和他一起開心的畫面
一封電郵，一句抱歉我做了對不起你的事
摧毀了她的整個世界
淚水像斷了線的珍珠不受控制的滑落她臉頰

她，像瘋了似的不停的想辦法去連絡他
他，卻像人間蒸發似的應訊全無

站在崩潰的邊緣，她就像個失了靈魂的軀體
徹撤底底的被打敗了

一段時間後，他們終於再一次見面
漠視着自己的堅持，她試著与他從新開始
但他卻拒絕了
破了的花瓶不管你多努力的把它黏補，花瓶始終不在完美
掩飾着自己的脆弱和感傷，她默默的離開

時光飛逝，本以為痊愈的她其實潛意識里一直藏着一個心結
一個這輩子都無法揭開的結

你為什麼不要我？

我愛幸運龍！

2010-05-09T22:48:00.003+08:00

一位因船子撞毀而在海上漂浮已久的水手終於遇到了位老船家，但這水手卻對老船家說：“謝謝你，但我並不需要你的幫忙因為我深信我崇拜的天神一定會來救我的。” 老船家拿這水手沒辦法就只好離開了。。

过了不久，一位開著遊艇的年輕人也來想幫這位水手但卻也被他婉拒了。。因為水手還是堅信他所崇拜及仰慕的天神一定會來救他的。

到最後，水手終於在海上死了。。

水手上了天，終於看到了天神就開始責罵天神：“我這麼的仰慕你，崇拜你，相信你，為什麼你卻沒救我讓我一個人在海上漂浮太久致死呢？

天神回答說：“我有啊。那位老船家和年輕人都是我派去救你的，但卻被你一一的拒絕了啊”。

這個週末过得特別精彩。。意想不到的狀況接踵而來搞得我真的束手無策。。
每個簡訊和來電都會讓我提心弔膽。。

但想起以上的故事，讓我決定不做那個水手。。。

或許這是巧合，又或許你真的是天神派來的幸運龍。。無論如何真的很謝謝你的幫忙。。

想讓你知道。。我從來沒有懷疑过你的能力，我也知道你一直想減輕我的壓力和負擔。
我只是害怕你受委屈所以一直遲遲沒答應。。

真的很抱歉。。本想陪你開開心心的度過這個週末但卻泡湯了。。
甚至還得讓你反過來哄我逗我開心。。

我不會忘記的，5月8日，我和幸運龍站在最高點！

Everything will be brighter!

2010-04-26T00:16:00.003+08:00

24 April 2010

I will always remember what you said...
"From tomorrow onwards, things will be looking much brighter cuz it will never be as worse as this day"

Thanks for coming to my aid that night despite the late impromptu call... I'm really grateful cuz I really dunno where I can go if you hasn't answered my call..

The entire day happenings, feelings of helplessness, frustrations, tiredness and not being able to be in control of the situation was just too overwhelming..... And then came the sudden strike of loneliness that simply tore me apart...

Hope I didn't gave you a bad scare that night... And really really thanks for the hugs and the shoulder to cry on...

Obituary - Death of Common Sense

2010-04-21T23:10:00.002+08:00

Got this article from a friend... Its very sad but yet so true...

An Obituary printed in the London Times.........

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion..

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason...

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Cheers

世间有阿母惜的囝仔尚好命

2010-04-18T21:21:00.002+08:00

" 你若欲友孝世大呒免等好额　世间有阿母惜的囝仔尚好命
呒通等成功欲来接阿母住　阿母啊　已经无置遐
哭出声　无人惜命命"

多少才足夠？

2010-03-24T23:01:00.002+08:00

人的一生要擁有多少才算足夠？

是衣食充足，還有一所房子和輛車子，
還是。。富貴榮華，住豪宅，駕豪華車？

又或者是只要身體健康，開開心心，簡單樸素的过一生？

如果只能選其一，你的選擇會是哪項？

在今世今日的社會，金錢雖然不是萬能的，但沒有錢卻是萬萬不能。。
人們對於學習是永無止境的。。人們對金錢的渴望与追求同樣的也是永無止境。

沒有“麵包”的愛情是否能長久？有麵包卻沒愛情，是否會快樂？
魚与熊掌是否有可能兩樣都能兼得？

知足真的就會常樂嗎？

I "LOVE" CNY!

2010-02-17T22:56:00.003+08:00

Case Study 1:

When you reach a certain age...
"Ah girl, Ah boy....Why no "patoh" aka boyfriend/girlfriend yet ah?
Dun be so picky la... Dun eat so much too else too fat nobody want..."

When you are finally attached...
"So when are the two of you tying the knot?
Its time already...dun let us wait too long...."

When you are finally married...
"How come no babies yet? Got difficulty is it?"

When you finally have a kid...
"Aiyoh, when's the next one coming? 1 is too little..should have a few more"

Case Study 2:

When you switched job...
"Why ah? Previous one no good meh? Aiya, should be contented with what you have mah"

When asked about your new job...
"Wah, do sales somemore..everything also BSBH...quite difficult.."

When you just smile and say okay lah...
"Its more difficult for you la...cuz ah you got no looks, no figure and can't speak very well, how to do sales?
Your pretty sisters all married with kids liao...Think you can only tell your clients that you got what is called "inner beauty" only..."

********************
在對的時間說對的話
大家都開心

在對的時間說錯的話
只能說沒關係

在錯的時間說錯的話
不好意思，我不想聽
*******************

Something is wrong..

2010-02-02T23:04:00.004+08:00

Something is wrong......
some parts seems to have malfunctioned....
Monitoring it for a while more....

Insomnia relapsed... deprived sleep......
Missing mommy.... Cranky, grouchy mood....
Feverish body..... F**king emo......

I'm sorry...... wasn't really angry...
Yet purposely started the stupid argument....
Knew the end result will be like this....
Yet, i still said it.....
No wonder i belong to the "asking for trouble" category

Something really is wrong....

不一樣的體驗

2010-01-24T00:20:00.004+08:00

今天因朋友介紹而去參加了個四者座談會。感覺很不一樣。。也說不上來。。
不过先生的今日指導卻給了我一些啓發与感想。。。

“ 應全力以赴的去做你目前的工作。這樣的努力會令你培養出新的自信心，
並為你的將來打開新的前景”

Reflections 2009

2010-01-23T00:05:00.013+08:00

Frankly, I couldn't wait for 2009 to be over cuz it simply wasn't a very smooth year for my family and i...

16 Jan 2009
Mummy departed from this world suddenly, leaving all of us in shock and grief.
Within a short period of 5 days, she left us without bidding goodbye...
Our worlds came crashin down and everyone's life went topsy-turvy.

Gammy had to go to a home for proper care cuz we can no longer care for her like before...am really sorry gammy... =(

Jie jie had to start her nursery class almost immediately from 7am to 6pm when all the time it was her 婆婆 who cared for her day and night for the past 2 years.

Younger sis had to seek for a year of deferment from work to care for her young mei mei who was only 4 mths old then.

Bro is turning 21 and having mixed feelings about his enlistment into NS then.

Dad can no longer have healthy home-cooked meals for his diabetes diet.

The following couple of months was hell!

On top of dealing with the loss and grief,

Gammy was unhappy staying at a home and everyone felt really bad.

Jie jie wasn't prepared for nursery yet thus became very cranky and difficult.
Cried very often too and kept falling sick so we had to run to the A&E a couple of times during midnight..

Mei mei was also another hard nut to care for and thus younger sis had to turn full-time housewife to take care of these 2 kiddos.

Everyone fell sick more frequently then...

How I really wish that it was just a bad bad dream and I'll wake up real soon...

15 May 2009
The Birth of this blog.
I simply could not contain my griefs anymore.
I needed an outlet to release my emotions badly, else I'm gonna sink deeper into depression... Looking back, I'm really glad that I started this blog. Thanks Mr Nelly! =p

12 June 2009
An "Eventful" day that really inspired me to seriously re-look at my goals and future.

21 July 2009
40 years from the time that Neil Armstrong landed on the moon..." That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind" marks a major turning point in my life aka career.

18 September 2009
Tears, laughter, and finally a break... 10 years...
Its time that I start planning FOR my Future and getting a Life.

11 November 2009
Reborn!
Experience a new learning curve, new goals, new targets.
Nothing is impossible ; impossible is nothing.

Bring me to greater heights 2010!

我是你的家後

2009-12-11T18:05:00.004+08:00

爸媽，我記得你們曾經聊过類似這樣的話題。。。我想這首歌應該形容的很貼切吧。。

媽，時間过得很快。。就這樣，您離開我們快一年了。。。媽，您要開心啊。。

“ 阮将青春嫁置恁兜阮对少年就跟你跟甲老

人情世事嘛已经看透透有啥人比你卡重要

阮的一生献乎恁兜才知幸福是吵吵闹闹

等待返去的时阵若到你着让我先走

因为我会呒甘看你为我目屎流”

Grow old with me...

2009-12-10T00:12:00.005+08:00

Hasn't been updating my blog for a while cuz lots of things running in my head
and I couldn't put it into words....

A picture speaks a thousand words but a song goes miles beyond that...

With or without you...

2009-11-15T00:29:00.002+08:00

"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends.

New Beginnings!

2009-11-11T15:17:00.009+08:00

Dear readers,
(I seriously wonder if anyone is still following this blog now that I'm finally in FaceBook)

Introducing the "BIRTH" of << OrangeCactusProject >>

*************************************
- adapted from nelsontan.com/blog
**************************************

A new name in the marketing landscape...

This is probably one of the most significant posts in my blog... announce the arrival of a new name in the marketing landscape...

That's right... I've set up a marketing communications company. What does Orange Cactus Project do? Well... companies provide goods/services to consumers, and while sales push the products to the consumers, marketing attracts consumers to consider buying the product.

When companies approach advertising agencies for marketing their products, usually companies end up expecting ads to sell their products. It may happen, but often you'd need more than just advertising to sell the products. At OCP, we start with the product/service and analyzing the target consumers, and we craft out a campaign idea. Then we propose the right media and marketing tools to help you achieve your marketing objectives.

In a nutshell, we're a marketing communications company with the right selection of tools to bring the message across. There's a saying, "when all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail." We have a wide range of marketing tools and the marketing experience to make sure that your company's marketing interest is best served.

Visit us at our website today to view our portfolio!

Metamorphosis

2009-10-15T11:03:00.005+08:00

I've realized
what goes round, REALLY does come round back to you.
(Thanks to all of you who has offered me help and assistance in one way or another, you know who you are :-) )

I've realized
you reap what you sow and sometimes in life, you may need to put in 180% effort in order to achieve the 100% fruits of labour.
(But it's okay, you'll still enjoy the fruits cuz they are the pride of your hard work)

I've realized
the people that you've met in your life does make a difference and they'll play a part in moulding you into who you are today.

I've realized
being positive helps to attract more positivity, more luck and karma too.

I've realized
there are far more people out there whom are leading a much more difficult life than we are.
(We should be grateful & appreciative of what we have)

I've realized
you need true friends who will walk with you when your limo breaks down.
(I'm glad that I do have and I really do treasure them a lot!)

I've realized
the subtle support from family members and relatives are priceless
and the warmth they bring are limitless.
(Especially the innocent smiles on my niece's face =p)

I've realized
it's time that I let go of the past,
learn to accept the new me,
and to move forward to face new challenges.

**********************************************
I am what I am today because of the people I've met, the mentors that I've learnt a lot from and the challenges that has made me grow and matured over the years. I'm beginning to appreciate the NEW ME.

Mummy, I'll be strong!
From this moment, I'll start to place you in my heart rather than my mind.
Its not gonna be easy but I won't let you down cuz I know you'll want the best for me.
Mummy, I love you.

Official 5th day after ORD

2009-09-24T22:51:00.004+08:00

Been hit by emo tsunami ever since 18 sept...Having tiring dreams every night...dreaming of lots and lots of friends, colleagues or just people everywhere... in all situations... But upon waking up, I couldn't recall the details, not even the slightest one.... Probably that's the withdrawal syndrome after official ORD.....

Anyway, once you've been in the deepest dumps, the next moment will definitely be UP and UP!
True enough, Jeff commented today that my "frown" is gone! Really gone! Yay! =)

I'm letting go...letting you go...letting everything go....
Feeling better..... preparing my gears..... and preparing to move forward....

Pik, I'm moving on le... open champagne and celebrate with me yay!
I'll buy you "or lua" plus beef noodles this time! Haha!

So true..

2009-09-06T22:46:00.002+08:00

" In the end, we will conserve only what we love; we will love only what we understand; and we will understand only what we have been taught."

Baba Dioum

Detachment issues

2009-09-01T21:11:00.003+08:00

Ogre has detachment issues... Ogre wonders if its just her... =(

Ogre has always feared getting emotionally attached or become too reliant on anyone.... and its happening again...

Ogre tries to protect herself by getting herself detached from the whole emo trauma... yet ends up hurting her beloved and herself and created a hell lot of mess...

Puss in boots tells Ogre to change her thinking cuz not everyone is as "forgiving" as her and detachment is definitely a wrong path to take..

Puss in boots warns Ogre to control her frown cuz she is doing it all the time unknowingly...

Ogre finally gets it and started feeling much better... .... All thanks to Puss in boots!

Ogre promise to try her best to change and move on....

Ogre loves Bibi! =)

Why is it so difficult?

2009-08-29T00:43:00.004+08:00

In another 3 more weeks, I'll be "graduating" from my 10-year OJT.....

Ever since the genting trip in july, my emotional state of mind has been like a damn rollercoaster ride...Ups and Downs...Ups and Downs...but i see more downs then ups..sighz..

People has been telling me that "天下没有不散的宴席".. I understand and I totally agree but somehow my heart still couldn't really face up to it... There are days that I seriously wonder how did my ex-colleagues do it? Why couldn't I? We can still keep in touch later on so whats the big deal about it? Why can't I be more cool about it?

My mood swings are kindda getting out of control and always at 2 different extreme ends... I really hate myself for behaving this way, yet I couldn't take control of it..its really a damn shitty feeling man and its affecting my temper as well...sighz....

Nelly just told me off a few days ago for repeatedly using the "F" word...He meant well, I know but I really couldn't contain it then... Why is it so difficult???

Panda's PostBox 熊貓阿达的信箱

总是學不會

Love and Happiness

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

第三者

完整

Solace.. Solitude..

Written on 11 Dec; Waka

還是要幸福

What faith can do

LOVE UU

幸福在哪里？

夜雪的❤情留言站

Quotable Quotes

Times when I'm unable to express my feelings, emotions...that is when I'll start looking at quotes..

"Quotes help you get over pain, feel love, make you smile & laugh..." I do agree that it does.

Here's some of my favourite ones:

How To Tell If Somebody Loves You ?

我以為。。

感伤，伤感

夜雪的❤情留言站

Listening with your 'eyes'

猜不透

Memory

放下。。放手

Credit: 夜雪的❤情留言站

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Credit: 愛咖啡

说我爱你

White Dove

不是真正的快乐

Twilight

What are words?

Evening sky

^_^

你感觉得到吗？

Colorgenics when you are lost...

无奈

Feeling at peace..even if its just for a short while...

SKI

180度

當冬夜漸暖

是時候了

思念太猖狂

Can't stop...

葉子

Letter to Panda

無言

二人同行

MBY

To You..earlier than expected...

Miss you...

ฉันคิดถึงเธอ

=D

Perturbed

覺醒 領悟

This is Life, Life is this.

I'll say ordinary, It's just an ordinary day.

世界上最遠的距離

無眠

Behind every little thing

勇氣

最幸福的事

乎遠乎近

Kiss the rain

Long forgotten dream

Mashed Up!

Drive safely for your loved ones

The art of communication

Touched by an angel

世界唯一的你

UMY Treasure

MYESD

Eat Pray Love

對与錯，是与非

Face It!

I will try..for your love

I'm so sorry...

With love

Silent Cry

覺醒領悟